Okay so you’re used to seeing crafty blog postings and today is not one of them.
Don’t worry, I have plenty of them planned. And they will likely be mixed in with my thoughts and ramblings about life. Because something about the creative part of me that must work with fabric or go crazy also must write about what I’m experiencing.
Something happened to me this past year. I was a chaplain resident at a Level 1 Trauma Center. To me that is self-explanatory but I know for most people it won’t be. Let me just say that I spent a lot of time in the emergency department and in the ICUs.
I’ve seen things and heard things I can’t undo. And I am forever changed.
Writer Jeff Goins calls it being “wrecked”. In fact that is the title of his new book.
As for me, I’ve been undone.
I thought I knew who I was before. And I had some pretty good ideas. But in the course of this past year I’ve come to know myself, my story, and to integrate all of me in to all I do and who I am.
As time goes on I’ll probably talk about God, some. But not in a preachy way because he’s something you have to figure out for yourself. Faith is a big part of my life. I mean, I’m going to be a theology student for the next many months. And I’m still a self-declared Christ-follower.
But it’s all different because my life, my world, has intersected with the suffering, hurting lives of others. And what I knew before and how I thought faith worked and all the great biblical principals you can follow for a great life just sort of rang hollow.
Something I was suspecting all along.
Lots of people who know me expect to hear my opinions and observations. I miss that part of myself. So we’ll see where this goes!
Lucinda
